With my sugar levels dropping, I have been forced to search for greater knobs (other than my own).

I am quivering in anticipation...

Endlog

11:01 Captains log continued

With the shock disappearence of my role model gone, and replaced with some old lecturer named after a shaving company, I must now intercept this unknown entity at Fuck 5. Captain out.

Endlog

11:02 Electric and Magnetic Fields - Captains log continued

Intercepting transmission from enemy starship "Bullshittania":

• Douglas died at a ripe age or 192, trying to remove a bra with his teeth

• Phillip died many years later....of sexual overdose

• Wendy buried them with a smile on her face

Endlog

Captains log - Shagdate - 1001100

"Yes, I do have to annoy you", said the Captain of "Bullshittania" as he fired his spank ray. Being the captain of the uss whoreprise, I opened the front deflectors, and bent over.

Philby woke up and it was all a fantasy.

Endlog